Day 15: Week 2, Another Disappointment

 

Day 15 of Nutrisystem 2.0. Today was the 2 week weigh-in and I was disappointed, yet again. The scale read 238 first thing this morning and I didn't bother weighing myself a second time. That's only a loss of 2 pounds for the week. Really, it's only a pound since the scale read 239 just 6 days ago. So now comes the blame game. Didn't exercise enough. Ate too much or ate the wrong things. Those are the only factors in weight loss that *I* can control. I can't control what my body decides to do. I have to keep telling myself weight loss is hard ! It is never going to be easy but that doesn't mean I will ever stop trying. Starving myself is not the answer and exercising to the point of exhaustion is also not the answer. Nutrisystem says 1-2 pounds a week and I'm there. I'm at 1-2 pounds a week. I have to trust the process and not give up. A pound is a pound. It took a year to put this weight on, how can I expect to lose it overnight ? If I lose 2 pounds a week average, I can lose 90 pounds in 45 weeks. That is less than a year ! That means getting back to my goal weight in 2023 ! So, that is what I'm shooting for. I think a lot of my disappointment is just because I want this weight gone and I want it gone fast. 

If I'm honest, I knew I wasn't going to like the number today. I just woke up feeling "heavy". It's always possible that I am retaining fluid. I added some butter flavored salt to my green beans last night and the carrots were roasted with salt. All the prepared foods I eat have salt. I can't judge myself and give up after only 2 weeks. The important thing is, I've lost 9 pounds ! I am 4 pounds away from earning back the 70 pound bear. I can't wait to put him back on the shelf and bring the 80 pound bear out ! I'm not going to give up, but I am going to do things differently for the next week:

#1 - no added salt. 

#2 - no added snacks (such as mixed nuts) 

#3 - at least 2 workouts per day 

#4 - drink more water

These are easy goals ! I achieved #2 and #3 yesterday. Yesterday was actually a perfect day. I ate 100% according to plan and did 2 workouts. The more days like that, the more weight I will lose and the more physically fit I will get. If I keep to this plan and experience yet another disappointment next week, then I'll know it wasn't the salt, it wasn't the snacks, it wasn't the lazy weekend and it wasn't a lack of water. Ironically, I had a hard time getting to sleep last night and I felt like I was hungry. Sometimes that will keep me from being able to sleep. I didn't give in though, and I eventually went to sleep sometime after midnight. I was proud of myself, only to have the scale slap me in the face.

Today was yet another gloomy rainy day, but I'm okay with any day that doesn't involve snow ! Temp was close to 40 so that meant my heat didn't have to run quite so much. After my disappointing weigh-in I sat my fat self on the couch to work. I finally made myself get dressed and put on my treadmill shoes about 11:30 and I immediately felt better. I actually didn't feel so "fat". I made my shake and spent 20 minutes doing 30 second 1:1 intervals on the treadmill. Speeds were 2.7 mph and 3 mph and I maintained this pretty easily. I crossed another of my first few workouts off my calendar ! I first did this one on March 9, 2019 and I weighed 266 pounds. I'm about 30 pounds lighter now. After work I challenged myself to another old workout that was on my calendar. It was nearly 33 minutes and the speed was 2.4 mph most of the way. It did have some incline up to 8% but all were brief and manageable. The first time I did this one I lasted less than 10 minutes. It was April 6, 2019 and I weighed 260 pounds. I'm 22 pounds lighter now. I completed the full workout the following day and then did it every day for weeks. Repeating the same workout over and over until it felt "easy" really worked well for me and I thought about doing that again, but iFit has a huge selection of workouts to choose from and I like the variety. So today I spent about 65 minutes on the treadmill, counting warmups and cool downs. This is great and I'm really pleased. 

Breakfast was 180 calorie buttermilk waffles with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was a 220 calorie BBQ chicken burrito with the rest of the roasted carrots. I did add some barbecue sauce to the burrito. Afternoon snack was 80 calorie cottage with 80 calorie peaches. Dinner was 250 calorie chicken enchilada with green beans. I resisted the urge to add salt ! Evening snack was a 130 calorie vanilla ice cream sandwich. Total calories for the day are 1040.

Looks like we have some wintry weather coming tomorrow, so I'm glad I don't have to leave the house ! Speaking of the house, during my pity party today I started thinking about how lucky I am in every other aspect of my life. I own my own home, I have a great job, a nice car, money in the bank. Great family. I have so much more than many people and I need to remind myself of that when I'm feeling down. The weight will come off, but it's going to take time. My long range goal is to be at 160 or less by December 31st. That is over 11 months away, so it is completely reachable. My mid-range goal is to be at 199 or less by Easter, which is April 9. This is a major stretch goal, since we're talking 39 pounds in less than 3 months. My short-term goal is to reach 234, which puts me back at the 70 pound level. I'd love to see that on the scale next Wednesday.

I'm really glad I decided to take this journey private because I can see this is going to be an epic battle. I also don't want people to think I am looking for attention. There is just too much of that on social media and it's part of the reason I avoid it most of the time. I still have FB and Instagram but I rarely post anything. I do enjoy the reels feature on Instagram but I have to weed out a lot of nonsense there. On that note, I'm heading for bed !