Day 23: Week 4 Begins !

 

Day 23 of Nutrisystem 2.0. The start of week 4. I had hoped to have lost more than 9 pounds by now, but I'm grateful to have not gained. I resisted the urge to weigh myself again this morning, because I don't want to become a slave to the scale. I wasn't one to weigh daily before, so I'm not going to start now. I am trying really hard to keep myself motivated and this has been a better week, despite the disappointing weigh in. I've stuck to the program 100% and the bedtime snacking has been eliminated. I am still tempted here and there, but I haven't given in. Every day I see those cookies in the freezer and every day I close that door. There are 2 muffins staring back at me. I don't see the bag of S'mores snack mix because I don't venture into that cupboard very often. I will eat it eventually, but now is not the time. Tomorrow is pizza at my sisters but I am bringing a salad and plan to have a big bowl of it. I also plan to eat a bag of veggies before I go so that I am not starving. These are the things I need to think about and do before I go to a gathering where there will be temptation !

Breakfast was 160 calorie buttermilk waffles and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake. Lunch was a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt and a chef salad. Afternoon snack was 190 calorie cheese and crackers. Dinner was 220 calorie chicken fettuccine alfredo over riced cauliflower. Evening snack was 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories are 1130.

I kept to my word and did the 33 minute Atlas Mountains workout during my lunch break. I expect to be repeating this daily for the next couple of weeks. After work I completed a 14.5 minute walk. Since it was short I bumped the pace up to 2.5 mph (instead of 2.2) for the first 4.5 minutes. Then I did 5 minutes at 2.7 mph. Then 4 minutes at 2.9 and the final minute was at 3.1 mph. I feel like it's time to start challenging myself a little with short bursts at higher speeds. I definitely felt the difference in each speed but it was not overwhelming and I never felt like I couldn't do it. 

Well, we didn't get anything that resembles a "winter storm" over the past day and a half. We had a few inches of snow and last night around 9 pm we had some freezing rain, then flurries and some light snow today. There is still plenty of winter to come, so we could get slammed at any time, but I'm enjoying these minor snow events. Doug came and plowed my driveway this morning. I can't even remember the last time he plowed - it was that long ago ! There was enough accumulated snow from the past couple of weeks to make it worthwhile, but I could have shoveled it. Most of what was in the driveway was the heavy wet stuff so it's probably best I didn't, since I've been known to hurt my back doing stuff like that !

I had a pretty productive day at work and I'm learning all sorts of new things ! I told my boss today that I am enjoying my job now more than I ever have, and I truly meant that. She's thrilled with my performance and that feels really good. I expect to get a great performance review in March and hopefully a nice raise will accompany it ! I worked until 7 tonight and boy was I starving by the time I logged off ! I scarfed down my dinner in no time and then got that second workout in. After that I scarfed down my cupcake and the rest of a cup of coffee I made hours ago. Speaking of coffee, I've received all 14 bottles of coffee syrup I ordered from Amazon (4 vanilla, 4 hazelnut and 6 salted caramel) and tomorrow UPS is bringing the 8 bottles I ordered from Skinny Mixes ! There are 8 different flavors, so I'm exciting to try some new ones ! It sounds crazy but I feel so relieved to have my coffee and coffee syrup supplies replenished. I won't need to buy any for a while now, that is for sure !

Last night on my way to bed I was thinking how much I missed those nights I used to lay in bed watching tv and eating chocolate or ice cream. It's true - I really do miss that ! It felt so good eating all those delicious things but then I hated myself for my weight and the way I looked. The eating candy in bed started during my marriage and I think to some degree it was a coping mechanism for me. I'd work all day, come home, take care of the pets and make dinner (unless we ate out) and then I'd escape upstairs to my bedroom where I'd watch tv and eat from my stash. Alex was not a sweet eater so I kept all my stuff upstairs in my room. We stopped sharing a bedroom in 2002 so I had it all to myself. I can't even imagine how many hundreds of pounds of chocolate I ate. I loved when a holiday rolled around, because I could buy extra candy without worrying that people would think it was all for me. The advent of self checkout was like Heaven because I could buy all the candy I wanted without feeling like the cashier was judging me. The bulk bins at Wegman's were also a favorite. Quite a few giant bags of chocolates followed me home from there ! I used to leave the grocery store with carts full of all my favorites: frozen chicken tenders, ranch dressing, pizzas, chip & dip, ice cream, cookies and lots and lots of chocolate bars or bags of Hershey Kisses. A few big bags of Skittles followed me home too, along with boxes and boxes of Milk Duds. I didn't get to 304 pounds eating salad. Over the past year I returned to a lot of those old habits, which is how I gained 87 pounds. I didn't go to quite the extreme as the old days, but I was headed in that direction. In addition to remembering how much I enjoyed all that junk, I also remembered how it made me feel physically. I would sit on the couch after eating and my stomach would just bloat right up to the point of discomfort. I would often struggle to stay awake right after eating and I know that is because my blood sugar was probably wildly elevated. That didn't stop me though, I kept doing it day after day, week after week, month after month. I'm glad that 12/25/18 my world crashed around me when I suddenly "saw" how huge I had become. I have my mother to thank for that realization and I know how proud she was to see me lose the weight. I know it bothered her to see me gaining again, but she loved me too much to say anything. I wouldn't have listened anyways, and she probably knew that. I did promise her that I would lose the weight and I intend to keep that promise. I don't know how long it will take, but I will do it.

On that note, I'm heading upstairs for a shower and then some tv time WITHOUT snacks ! I will settle for a purring cat. Minnie always comes and makes biscuits once I settle into bed. She spends most of her time upstairs so we have our together time at night. Abby has me all day since she stays downstairs. It works for them I guess !