Day 55: Not Where I Want To Be

 

Day 55 of Nutrisystem 2.0 kicked off at precisely 6:45 am. I contemplated dozing until the alarm at 7 but ultimately decided to get up and get the day started. I made my bed and headed downstairs. It was only 13 degrees but the house temp was a comfortable 68. I fed the indoor and outdoors cats, got dressed and then settled on the couch to enjoy my first cup of coffee before the work day started.

Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake. Lunch was a chef salad and 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was 200 calorie cheese & crackers. Dinner was green beans and a 260 calorie turkey pepperoni & sausage pizza. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories for the day are over 1200 because I also had an apple oatmeal muffin. I'm down to 1 muffin left in the freezer !

After a disappointing weekend, I'm ready to "get it right" for the next 5 days. I didn't keep to my Nutrisystem schedule this weekend and I paid for it. Last night I could not get to sleep because I was hungry. I ended up getting up near midnight and had a chocolate muffin from the freezer. I went to sleep almost immediately after I ate it ! 

First workout of the day was 33 minutes in Lake Bled, Slovenia. This was the last workout in the February iFit challenge and I wanted to get it out of the way. I avoided it all month because the speed was too high and there was a lot of incline in the last 25% of the workout. Instead of trying to do the workout as programmed, I split it into 4 sections and started at 2.6 mph. I increased 0.1 mph at 50 and 75%, to end at 2.9 for the last quarter. I also played with the incline here and there using 2%, 4% and 6%. I worked just as hard as I do with the Atlas Mountains workout, so I'm happy with my effort. I certainly worked up a sweat and did some huffing and puffing ! Instead of avoiding it all month I should have just done it and moved on. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy and I create anxiety unnecessarily. After work was almost 23 minutes in Spain and for this I started with a speed of 2.5 mph. At 21 minutes I increased the speed to 2.6 and then another 0.1 mph every 3 minutes, ending at 3.2 mph. I hadn't eaten dinner so I barely made it to the end. I had to cut the cool down short because I had that weak feeling again, but I'm happy I got through the entire workout ! I put in about 66 minutes, including warm ups and cool downs, so I'm happy with the start to the week !

That being said, I'm still kind of sad to be at the 55 day mark and to have made so little progress. I've made some strides with using the treadmill on a more regular basis, but I haven't lost anywhere near the number of pounds I expected. I have yet to 100% settle in to Nutrisystem. In fact, last night I was on Amazon and I added 2 giant tubs of sea salt caramels to my cart - because I have no candy or chocolate in the house. Here I am trying to lose almost 90 pounds and I'm looking at ordering over 4 pounds of chocolate. What the hell is wrong with me ? I was hungry at the time, but still ... ordering those would just keep the disappointments coming. I don't have the willpower to have 1 or 2. Oh, I might for a couple days .. but eventually I'd be eating a bunch of them every day until they're gone and I'd be buying more candy. I know why I was hungry last night. I didn't get anywhere near the amount of protein I needed for the day and I drank zero water. I had a few cups of coffee and a bottle of Fresca but that is nowhere near the amount of water I should be taking in. You should take in your weight in ounces and I am getting nowhere near that in any given day. Drinking enough water has always been hard in the winter but I resolved to try harder today. I also resolved to get back on track with taking my vitamins. That was at 7:45 am ... so how did that go ? Well, another failure.

After my workout I ate the green beans I made for dinner and then got to work cleaning litter boxes ! I also cleaned up the rest of the laundry room and took the water fountain apart and cleaned that. So now my girls have clean boxes, clean water and fresh dry food. I've managed to keep the kitchen clean and now the laundry room is clean, so I'm making some progress. It's ridiculous that I can't keep the house clean 365 days a year. It's a combination of laziness and in the winter, some seasonal depression compounds the problem. 

I have to keep reminding myself to be proud of the things I'm doing right. I'm still having good days and bad days, but the good seem to outnumber the bad .. so I'm on the right track. I think for today the good outweighs the bad, so that's a start. 

Thanks to all the work I did over the weekend, my workday today was zero stress and I accomplished a lot. I got some new process information for an issue I've been struggling with and was able to start unraveling that one. I'm hoping to wrap it up tomorrow and send it on to the next step. Then I can address another complicated issue that I've been avoiding. The good news is I'm running out of ugly complicated old stuff to work on !

Snow has started to fall and the forecast indicates we could get some significant snow between now and tomorrow night. I'm not going anywhere and I have plenty of food, so I'm not worried about it. We had some sun today and much of the snow and ice on my roof fell. Some is scattered in the driveway so the snow is perfect timing, because Doug will plow it all away. The services for his brother are tomorrow so he may not plow until Wednesday, but that is fine with me. I haven't seen an obit for his brother in law yet. I've had plenty of bad luck in my life and I feel bad for Doug. Losing his wife was tough and now to lose his brother and her brother within a day of each other .. just shocking and very sad. I'm not worried about the driveway. I do have a snowblower and a shovel !