Day 110: Another Week Begins !

 

Today is day 110 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and it's also Monday. Weather is back to cold and gloomy.

Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup. I never got around to having my yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was a chef salad & 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. I didn't have an afternoon snack either. Dinner was the other half of the pepperoni pizza I bought yesterday. Evening snack was a 130 calorie strawberry shortcake cupcake. I'll put total calories at 1200+ because of the pizza.

First (and only workout of the day was just under 30 minutes and I put in 28 minutes at 3 mph. I had planned more workouts but I worked late.

Work was busy to start and it got even busier in the late afternoon as my boss asked me to take on some additional items, which included some big projects. I'm feeling a little stressed but she also offered me 8 hours of OT this week and that's a huge plus ! With the money I am planning to spend on the house I will take any and all overtime opportunities. I only worked an hour today because I wasn't prepared for the sudden OT and I don't like to work OT if I don't have some specific items lined up. I plan to work until 7 pm for the next 3 days so this week is going to be more about working and my exercise program will have to take a back seat. I'm going to schedule some longer lunchtime workouts to compensate a bit. 

Today I wanted to talk about the final stage of grief, which is Acceptance. One description I read said that acceptance isn't being okay with whatever has caused your grief. It's more about acknowledging it, accepting your new reality and learning to live with it. I'm not here yet. I'm not okay with having gained all this weight. I'm not okay with being fat again. I'm not okay with not being able to control what I eat at all times. I'm not okay with finding 101 excuses not to exercise. I'm still bouncing around in the midst of anger, bargaining and depression. I may come back to this at some point because today I do not accept where I am. I do not accept that I am destined to be fat. I think maybe I'm expecting too much, too soon and it's just making the whole process harder than it needs to be. So do I just go back to basics and worry about getting 1200 or less calories and exercising at least once a day ? The weekday schedule reflects good intentions, but it is realistic ? When I first started this journey I was commuting every day and didn't get home until 6 pm, so I only used the treadmill once a day. I didn't start working from home until September 9, 2019 when my office closed. This is when I transitioned to going to a new office 2 days a week until COVID rolled around in March 2020. At that point I worked from home full time and now that is permanent. So from January through August 2019 I only worked out once a day during the week. Here I am now, only 110 days into the new journey and I'm pushing myself to work out 3 times a day. Perhaps I am expecting too much, too soon. 

Perhaps it's a good thing that work is going to be busy this week and I'm opting to skip my evening workouts. I think I'd be ok working out twice a day but I think 3 times is too much right now. This might be why on weekends I have zero motivation to exercise. I guess I need to think on it some more and figure out what is going to work best for me, where I am today.

It's after 10 pm so it's time to grab a quick snack and head for bed !