Day 125 and 126: Unsettled

 

Today is day 126 of Nutrisystem 2.0. I started a blog yesterday but didn't finish it and I wasn't happy with the subject matter, so I decided to let that negativity go and focus on being positive !

Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake. Lunch was a chef salad & 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was 80 calorie cottage cheese & 90 calorie oatmeal cookies. Dinner was green beans & 260 calorie roasted turkey medallions. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Yesterday was pretty much the same except breakfast was pancakes, dinner was broccoli & a chicken enchilada and evening snack was a lemon zest cake. Total calories for today are 1150. I added that in my head, so hopefully it's right !

Yesterday I got a good workout in during lunch but nothing after work as the siding guy was here and once he left I just wanted to relax. Today I got another good workout in during lunch but I couldn't work up the ambition to get a second one in. I ended up using the time to clean litterboxes and the cat's water fountain. It got me over 10,000 steps for the day and that is always the goal !

For some reason yesterday I woke up with thoughts about accepting the fact that I am unattractive and that was the negative topic I started to delve into in the blog. I didn't finish that line of negativity last night and by today that moment had passed and I don't want to go there. You know what ? We are all beautiful in our own way. If men judge me for my looks, well - that is their loss because I'm pretty amazing. So that is that !

I mentioned the siding guy came yesterday. We spent over an hour going around the house and clarifying everything he will be doing. He explained a lot of what he will be doing because I am completely clueless. Many of the items I was concerned about are not spelled out in the estimate but he assured me it will all be done. My biggest concern was being sure there will be no exposed wood that could potentially require painting down the road. He assured me there will be none. Some things he plans on doing were not mentioned in the estimate but are included in the cost and I was fine with that. Right or wrong I'm going to take him at his word as he seems professional and invested in doing the best job possible. I feel like he's going to do an amazing job and I think pictures of the transformation of my house will be of great value to him when it comes to getting new work. I didn't sign the contract yesterday as he hadn't accounted for the porch gutters in the estimate and I also asked him if he could do the new door on the exterior basement access. He's willing to do that and he wants to make it better than what was there, so he's going to get back to me with an updated estimate. He expects it to only be a couple hundred dollars for both, which is fine. As long as it's less than $1k I'll be okay with that. He also said he'd come back and do any extra trim I might want on the garage once the new door is installed. I did forget to ask him about a new floodlight over the garage. I'm thinking I can go buy the fixture and just have them install it. I believe they have to take the existing fixture down to do the siding anyways. He's thinking end of June for the start and it will take 2-3 weeks to complete. A lot depends on the weather. I am so excited and can't wait for this project to start ! The deteriorating workshop off the garage had been weighing on my mind, along with the peeling paint all around. There's also plenty of rotted siding along the bottom of the house, some falling off. In some places pieces of the wood siding are missing. The house really looks terrible on the outside and it will be such a huge relief to have all of this taken care of. I have mixed feelings about all of it because I wouldn't be able to do this if not for the money I've inherited from my mom. I think she would be happy that I'm putting it to good use. Still, it's hard for me to part with the money and I think I'm wrestling with that too. It feels good to have that cushion in the bank and it's not easy to let it go. I think the internal discussion is part of the reason I feel so out of sorts lately. Once the project is done and the money is spent I'll be able to let it go because once it's done, it's done ! I'll be thrilled to finally have a home I can be proud of inside AND out ! No more worrying about paint peeling or siding falling off. I'm hoping my heating bills will be lower next winter and I'm also hoping I won't have any more issues with the kitchen pipes freezing. It's not as if I'm completely depleting my resources either. I still expect to have over $20k in the bank when everything is done and I plan to work hard to add to that over the next few years. When I thought about this expense I asked myself what else I would do with the money ? The answer was: nothing. I have no reason to pay my car off because I have 0% financing. My mortgage loan also has a super low interest rate and I only have 8 years left on it, so there is no reason to pay that off now. I'm not the type to buy stuff like designer clothing and accessories. I don't really travel. I'm only going to Disney this year because Lauren has no one else to go with her. I don't go to the casino anymore either. So yeah, the money would just sit in my account. I may regret it if I get laid off but I am retirement eligible so I would start collecting my pension. I also have a 401k, though it lost a ton of value in the past year. I'll be eligible for social security in a couple of years too. So really I am ok financially, provided I stay away from the casino ! 

Work has been busy and I'm happy with that ! I am going to be even busier when I get back from vacation in June, because I have a ton of projects that will be all ready to go the first week or two of June. I love when that happens because it is SO satisfying to complete and close a whole bunch at once. 

On that note, I'm heading for bed. There was no self-analysis today and that's a good thing !