Day 135: By A Thread

 

Today is day 135 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and I've been awake since 4:30 am, thanks to an unexpected early morning visit from Abby ! I guess she was hungry but I tried and failed to go back to sleep. I got up just after 5:30 and fed her.

Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup. I didn't have my yogurt or a morning snack. Lunch was a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. I didn't have an afternoon snack. Dinner was green beans and a 260 calorie chicken enchilada. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories are unknown, due to half a package of tea cookies .. lol !

Work was not super productive. I have a lot to get done but had zero motivation to work very hard. Today was our monthly all hands call and my recent award was acknowledged. It's hard to be excited about that, given the recent news. I still hold out hope things won't change for me but if they do I'm sure it will turn out to be for the best. Maybe moving somewhere else would be a good thing, a chance to get a fresh start ! Only a tiny fraction of my job is supporting the Florida center so it really doesn't make sense to move me there. They are also not technically one of the locations the company is trying to consolidate people into. My customers are actually outside the US and most of the people I interface with are outside the US ... so why change where I work from ? Four of the 7 people on my team are here in Syracuse, our boss is in Kansas and 2 people are in Florida. So where do you put us if you want us to "collaborate" and be together ? I'm hoping when it comes time to make that decision they decide to just leave us be.

I'm pretty much hanging by a thread right now. Not knowing what is going to happen is the hardest part of all this. Four years ago when they announced our center was closing, my Director at the time pretty much let on very early that I didn't need to worry. I'm not getting that vibe from the current leadership so it's all up in the air. 

I wrote the 2 paragraphs above earlier today, but a conversation I had after 5 pm lifted my spirits and gave me hope for the future. I reached out to a former colleague that I worked with for several years. When she left the company at the end of 2022 she told me to let her know if I ever wanted to make a change. I didn't think much of it, because I've never had illusions of grandeur and I've never wanted to leave my job. Well, if my hand is forced I at least know I have someone who will JUMP at the chance to hire me and says I can earn more than ATT will ever pay me ! In fact, turns out she is 2nd in command at her new employer and would hire me in a heartbeat. After my initial email to her, I noticed on her email signature that she is a VP, so I emailed her a second time to congratulate her on that achievement .. only to have her tell me she needs to update that as she is now Chief Sales Officer .. with only the CEO above her ! Never in a million years did I see that coming ! I did her a lot of favors that made her a star in her job before she left ATT, and she hasn't forgotten that. So now I know that if things don't work out in my current job I will have a new job in a heartbeat, working for or with someone I truly respect and admire ! Considering she jumped at the chance to call and talk to me today tells me how interested she is and that feels amazing !

After I got off the phone I wanted to jump for joy. The weight was immediately lifted from my shoulders and I felt happy ! I feel like I can now relax, enjoy my weekend and go back to work on Monday with a new attitude. If AT&T is ready to kick me to the curb, so be it. I'll go on to bigger and better things ! The only thing that scares me is learning new things. That is always a challenge, but I've overcome new things over and over in my 38 years at AT&T. This evening I logged onto LinkedIn and updated my profile and now I feel ready for whatever comes next. Am I scared ? You bet. 

I mentioned I was up super early this morning but I had an odd night. I woke up during the night and was looking for something. I can't even tell you what it was but I remember getting up and going to look in the bathroom. I'm wondering if it's the 3 nights in a row of Benadryl making me loopy. Either that or I'm developing dementia or Alzheimer's. The only possible thing I should be looking for in the middle of the night is the tv remote or the fan remote .. and neither would be in the bathroom ! My ear lobe is almost back to normal and healing well, so no more Benadryl for me. I'm going to buy some rubbing alcohol next time I'm at Walmart and make sure I clean all my earrings before wearing them again. I also plan to rub it on my earlobes before I put earrings in.

My new battery powered trimmer is supposed to be delivered tomorrow but we have rain in the forecast. Sunday and all next week is going to be dry, so I'll be out there mowing and trimming eventually ! I may spend a little time in the garage tomorrow, but I'm also going to be having dinner with my niece. She's dog sitting for my sister & brother's dogs so I'm going to pick up dinner and go spend some time with her. We can talk about our Disney plans. If I end up taking a new job I'll have to make sure I mention the Disney trip, because I'm not giving that up.

Although it warmed up today I opted to spend my workday on the couch with the tv on. I was tired and anxious and just out of sorts. I think I'll sleep better tonight because I now have a plan. On that night .. I'm heading for bed !