Day 150: Alone

 




Today is day 150 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and I'm still a mess. I don't know how to "snap out of it" at this point. It's hard when you have no one to hold you and tell you it will be okay. It's even harder when you are 100% dependent on yourself. I don't have the luxury of a husband or partner to pick up the slack. I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life. It is still this "in between" of not knowing what is going to happen. I didn't accomplish anything yesterday. Didn't get dressed. Didn't make my bed. Didn't take a shower or brush my teeth. I started to clean up the laundry room in preparation for cleaning litter boxes, but never finished the job. I spent the majority of the day on the couch watching tv or scrolling through my phone. 


Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup. Always my favorite breakfast ! I also forced an 80 calorie yogurt down.

Having something to do makes it easier. Around 11:30 I forced myself to get dressed and take a walk to the post office. I expected my village tax bill and my water/sewer bill would be waiting for me. The tax bill was only about $4 more than last year, so I can't complain about that ! The water/sewer bill is typically the same each quarter, so that was no surprise. After I got home I gave Abby her long overdue baby food, made myself a fresh cup of coffee and sat down to watch a little YouTube and start this blog. I also made a grocery list because I committed to make potato salad for tomorrow and I need food for the week ahead. About 2 pm I finally forced myself to head to the grocery store.



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