Going In The Right Direction !

 

*** Written Tuesday 10-17-23 ***

Today was a horrible day .. for no good reason. Abby is really stressing me out because since I gave her the new Wellness brand wet food on Saturday she is pretty much refusing to eat anything else. Neither of the cats seem to like the other 2 foods I bought, so I'll be feeding all that to the strays, who will love it ! I only bought one package of 12 cans of the Wellness and I only had 3 cans left as of this morning. I ordered some from Chewy and it should be here tomorrow, so I just have to get through today. She cried and cried for food and when I fed her she ate a couple bites and walked away. I'm glad she likes the new food but I have a ton of Fancy Feast ! The new food is super expensive ($41 for 24 cans !) but what can you do ? I also freaked out because I noticed no payment was taken in October for my Disney credit card. It's on auto pay so I couldn't figure out what happened. It took me forever to find a number to contact them (no chat option on the website) but once I got a live body I found out there was no payment taken because of the refund from Jet Blue! Whew - I was relieved ! The account has been on auto-pay for the full balance every month since I got the card so this was a good reminder that I still need to pay attention ! I also had a frustrating work day because it seems like no one wants to help you with anything. I bust my ass and try to help people but when I need help I can rarely find it. I'll get through it (I always do) but yet another "colleague" burned their bridge with me. My stock answer when THEY need help will be "I don't know". 

So I let the stressful morning get to me and didn't get to the treadmill during lunch. I sat on the couch and scrolled through my phone. When 5 rolled around I had just sent an email explaining the issue I need help with to a few people (and my boss) and I was mentally exhausted. So no treadmill today. It's not all bad .. despite the temptation to eat to cope, I didn't. There were 3 packages of Pop Tarts sitting there ready to comfort me, but I had my normal afternoon snack instead. While my dinner was cooking I cleaned out the litter boxes, so I got a little bit of exercise.

Breakfast today was a cinnamon roll (180 calories) & yogurt (80 calories). I haven't had the Nutrisystem cinnamon rolls in a while, so they're a nice change ! Lunch was a pepperoni pizza melt (220 calories). Afternoon snack was cottage cheese (80 calories) and an apple (95 calories). As you can see, I didn't have a shake or a salad. Dinner was green beans and roasted turkey medallions (260 calories). Since I didn't have a shake, I treated myself to an orange cream ice cream bar after dinner. Nutrisystem's version of a creamsicle ! They're only 90 calories and really good ! I also enjoyed the remnants of the coffee I made around 4 pm and never finished. Evening snack was a lemon zest cake (140 calories) with a greatly reduced amount of whipped cream ! So that's 1145 calories for the day.

My new purse is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow ! I can't wait ! I think it'll be a great mid-week pick me up ! It also helps that my Chewy order is coming. For now I'm giving the new food to Abby and the Fancy Feast to Minnie. When the FF is gone I will switch them both over to the new food. I definitely need to watch for sales and deals on this stuff !

I'm seeing that getting the carbs and sweets off the menu have resulted in my appetite settling down. I've always known that the more carbs & sugar I ate the hungrier I'd get, but I did it anyways. Hence the reason I explored the self-sabotage topic. The other day I did a little reading about emotional eating and I feel like today was a little bit of a victory over it. Yes, I used it as an excuse not to exercise, but not resorting to food for comfort is the more important thing. Reducing my calorie intake is the priority here. You can lose weight without exercising if you reduce your calories but I think it's harder to lose weight if you increase your calories, even if you are exercising. Here's a striking paragraph from the article I read:

Emotional hunger comes on suddenly. It hits you in an instant and feels overwhelming and urgent. Physical hunger, on the other hand, comes on more gradually. The urge to eat doesn’t feel as dire or demand instant satisfaction (unless you haven’t eaten for a very long time).

Early this afternoon I was scanning the kitchen for food while ranting at poor Abby. I feel bad about that because she is so sweet but it was just my own frustration with myself. I could have got in the car last night and went to PetSmart to get more of the food, but I didn't. I'm happy that I didn't give in but I regret yelling at a poor defenseless cat. I will be so happy when the food arrives tomorrow ! I'll have to order more right away to ensure I don't run out. Anyhow, the "hunger" I felt was definitely emotional. Was I hungry in the physical sense ? Nope. Not at all. I was definitely looking for comfort. 

*** Written Wednesday 10-18-23 ***

Well, today started off better. When I got up I stopped to wash my face and brush my teeth, before heading downstairs to feed the cats. My little group of strays has grown and this worries me a bit. There are 4 adults and 4 kittens, so there is huge potential for a lot of reproduction. I also have a raccoon that comes and eats the dry food in the evening and I've had a skunk coming around, so the food station is busy ! The cats are all feral and only the oldest male allows me to pet him. He wasn't there this morning, which is not unusual. I guess he likes to sleep in ! Instead of giving Abby the last can of the Wellness cat food, I gave her a can of the beef variety Fancy Feast. She gobbled it down like her normal self, so I'm wondering if she was just having a bad day yesterday. I'm going to give her the new food once or twice a day and see how that works out.

*** Written Thursday 10-19-23 ***

I didn't take much time to write yesterday, but it was a better day. Abby ate much better the entire day, so that was great ! My Chewy order came and it seems I didn't order the pate variety of the chicken & turkey food. I emailed Chewy about exchanging it and the first response I got really made me mad. All the rep did was point out that I got what I ordered. No shit, asshole ! So I sent a second email pointing out that the website graphic pretty much hid the fact that the product I "ordered" was minced & shreds, instead of pate. I also mentioned this was only my 2nd order and if this was their idea of customer service, it would also be my last order. I got a much better response the 2nd time around: a refund on the one product and 10% off a new order. I hadn't asked for a refund, I just wanted an exchange. I went ahead and ordered another 2 boxes of the food, even though I had already ordered 2 from Amazon, just for the discount. I got a nice discount from Amazon too, so I was happy about that. So I'll have 6 boxes in stock, which is 144 cans. I plan to intersperse the new food with the Fancy Feast to balance out the cost a little. I also got my Michael Kors bag yesterday. It was smaller than I expected, but I wanted a crossbody bag and I think anything bigger would be too cumbersome. I may treat myself to a larger shoulder bag at some point, but I'm happy with the purchase. It was amazingly well wrapped but I was disappointed it didn't some with a dust cover. I looked on their website and you can buy one for $5, so I will definitely do that.

From a food and exercise perspective, I'm hanging in there and doing better ! Yesterday, breakfast was french toast with sugar free syrup & a yogurt. Morning snack was a vanilla shake. Lunch was a chef salad & pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was cottage cheese and an apple. Dinner was broccoli & roasted turkey medallions. Evening snack was a chocolate cupcake with whipped cream. I got a 20m9s (plus 6 min wu/cd) workout in during lunch, but I didn't make it to the treadmill after work. 

From a self-care perspective, I'm trying. I didn't get my vitamins, magnesium or Metamucil in, but I did take a shower and wash my hair ! I brushed my teeth when I got up, but didn't brush them when I went to bed. Today I will try harder in this area.

Today, I woke up feeling refreshed at 6 am. I got up to pee and then went back to sleep until the alarm went off at 7. After feeding the indoor & outdoor cats I had a few minutes to enjoy my first cup of coffee before work.

Breakfast was a Nutrisystem cinnamon roll. I never got around to my yogurt or morning snack. Lunch was a chef salad & pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was cottage cheese. Dinner was green beans and a meatloaf sandwich. I'll be having meatloaf for a while - last night I realized I have a TON of them in the freezer. I also have a lot of chicken breasts, so I'll be eating those too. Since I had a pretty significant calorie deficit, I decide to have an orange cream ice cream bar after dinner. My evening snack was a lemon zest cake with whipped cream.

Work wasn't super busy so I was able to spend a lot of time cleaning up file, checking in on all of my pending work and getting a few new things started. 

I didn't use the treadmill today but I also didn't sit on my a$$ ! It's supposed to rain for the next 3 days so I decided to mow the lawn today. I did part of it during lunch and finished the job after work. I actually hit 10,000 steps on my FitBit when the lawn was done ! There were lots of leaves out there so I let the lawn mower mulch them up or blow them to the edges of the yard. 

Abby has been eating better and that is a relief. She really had me worried on Tuesday. I'm hoping that the homeopathic medicine I'm giving her is going to help her put some weight on. The recommended dose is 2 tiny tablets but I just gave her one for the past week. I crush it into a tiny bit of food and plop it on top to make sure she eats it. Today I decided to start giving her 2 per day and we'll see how that goes.

I weighed myself and I'm at 250, so I've lost a couple pounds ! I still have a long way to go if I want to get back to the 160's, but I'm finally going in the right direction ! With the lawn done, I will be back on the treadmill tomorrow. I only have 3 workouts to go to complete the October challenges. One is 20 minutes, one is 34 and one is 37 - so two out of 3 are going to be a little bit of a challenge ! The goal for tomorrow is to do both long ones, since it's Friday and I can sleep in Saturday morning !

My Nutrisystem auto ship of frozen food is due to be delivered tomorrow and I have plenty of space for it. I'm a little bored with the frozen stuff so I ordered 10 non-frozen dinner entrees this time. They were delivered today. Dinners take up the most space in the freezer so I only need to fit 14 in there this time around ! My Chewy order is also supposed to be delivered tomorrow ! My Nailboo order hasn't shipped yet and I have an Amazon order out there that is expected to be delivered Monday. Whew .. I should be done for a little bit ! I'm sure the Fedex guy will be happy about that !

On that note, I'm heading for bed. This weekend I intend to explore the emotional eating topic more !