Day 3: Settling In

 

Day 3 of Nutrisystem 2.0 did not find me awake early, but I was not in any mood to get up at 7 either. That is probably because I fell asleep early and woke up at 10 pm thinking I had slept half the night. I woke again near 3:30 am. Both times I had to pee so that didn't help. I didn't wake up hungry so I'm feeling like not eating in bed is really helping. This proves my point that carbs fueled my hunger. This is a point I've proven to myself over and over, so you'd think I'd stop letting myself overdo the carbs. 

I didn't have breakfast until nearly 10:30 am. I had a 150-calorie package of pancakes with sugar free syrup. I got a yogurt out but never ate it. Morning snack was a 120-calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was a chef salad with fat free dressing and a 220-calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was the usual 80 calorie cottage cheese and 90 calorie oatmeal cookies. Dinner was a 250-calorie chicken enchilada with a bag of brussel sprouts. Evening snack was a 130-calorie vanilla ice cream sandwich. Total calories for the day are 1040.

There are calories I don't count every day, because I am not concerned with eating "exactly" 1200 calories and Nutrisystem allows anything under 10 calories as a "free" item and they allow 3 extras, so I am well within the guidelines. I don't count the syrup (5 calories in 2T) or salad dressing (15 calories in 2T). I don't count the scoop of peanut butter powder (35 calories in 1T) that I add to my shake. I don't count whipped cream when I use it or sugar free jello when I make it. I also don't worry about the zero-calorie stuff I take in, such as the syrups to flavor my coffee, Fresca soda or the butter flavor salt on my veggies. Some people count every morsel regardless of calories, and I think that's a little bit too obsessive. I know myself and the less pressure I put on myself to be "perfect", the better off I'll be.

I completed a nearly 27-minute workout during lunch. The speed with slightly higher than yesterday (2.8 mph vs 2.5 mph) and I felt the difference at first. I was able to settle into the speed and get through it, so I'm hopeful that over time I can build back up to my former endurance level. With the 3-minute warmup and cool down I spent nearly 33 minutes on the treadmill. I'm happy with that. After work I started a series I've done before. It is short 10–12 minute walks at about 2.2 mph. I'm trying not to push myself to do too much, too fast so that this becomes a pleasurable experience, and not a task I don't look forward to. Exercise is so critical to my success, so I need to get it right.

My first 3 days of Nutrisystem 2.0 have gone better than I expected. I thought I would be starving and, so far, I'm not. I'm easing back into exercise, and I thought that would be harder too. I guess I'm just back in the right place mentally to get this done. I was thinking about the nonsense I went through as my weight started to balloon. My underwear got tighter and tighter and eventually I stopped wearing it. God forbid I go out and buy some in a larger size. So, I'm looking forward to fitting into them again ... lol! I remember wanting to cry one day because I could no longer wear my size 10 jeans. I defaulted to leggings and finally broke down and bought a couple of plus size pairs of jeans at Walmart. It really bothered me to buy things with XX in the size. I also had to buy some tops because I outgrew smalls and mediums, and I had no larges. I had to buy a new winter coat because my L and XL would not fit. I do love the coat (a 3X but it's Michael Kors) and I will probably wear it even after I lose the weight! So, I bought those few things to get by, but I don't plan on buying anything else. I am going to lose these 87 pounds and fit back into everything!

It's amazing the games I played with myself in my head. I just chose to ignore the fact that I was gaining weight and just kept eating. My clothes got tighter and tighter and I kept eating. Moving around got harder as my weight increased. I was back to huffing and puffing when I went up the stairs to bed. My body started to ache, and I was stiff in the morning because I wasn't exercising. I'd look in the mirror and think I didn't look that bad. Well, clearly, I had gone right back to not really "seeing" myself. Well, I see myself now. I see my fat ass and my wider hips. The good news is after only 3 days I feel lighter, thinner and less bloated. Really, I feel good! I feel like I made the right decision to restart Nutrisystem after the holidays. I enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas and there is no food related holiday until Easter, which is April 9. The good news is this is only one day and doesn't come with all the fanfare that Christmas has. I'd like to be at 199 or less by then, which is an ambitious goal. It means dropping 44 more pounds in about 93 days. I said on Day 1 that I'd like to be at 199 by 3/31 and that is still true! Actually, I'd like to be at 199 tomorrow ... lol! Getting to 199 will be huge because it will put me past the half-way mark. 

I see everyone talking about #dryjanuary which I guess is about not drinking. I'm glad that drinking is something I don't do often. It's so funny that I have a ton of wine & hard cider in the fridge but no urge to drink it. I have something once in a while or at a social occasion. My #dryjanuary is not eating like a pig! I just had my evening snack, and I could eat 3 more of them. Sometimes I think part of my problem with food is impulse control. Instead of giving in and getting instant gratification I need to work on getting through the craving without giving in. That sounds so easy but it's hard, mostly because I have no one to keep me accountable, other than me!

I went back through my iFit history this evening and added the first 8 workouts I ever did to my schedule for this weekend. I doubt I will be able to complete them all this weekend, but I'm going to try. It will help me gauge where I am when it comes to endurance. They're all 3 mph or less and the inclines are not ridiculous, so this will be a test of my endurance, rather than stamina. I know stamina is going to take more time to build. How long, I don't know. I still remember my first workout on the treadmill. It was February 10, 2019, and my speed was less than 2.5 mph. I only lasted 5 1/2 minutes. I was still close to 300 pounds, and I'd never exercised, so that is no surprise. I tried a second workout that same day and it was also no more than 2.5 mph, but it had incline up to 10%. I lasted just over 8 minutes on that one. Two days later I tried again, this time the workout was intervals up to 2.8 mph. I lasted just over 14 minutes. Two days later, on Valentine's Day, I took on a 20-minute workout of intervals up to 2.8 mph. I settled into that one and did it over and over until March 9. By this time, I was ready to challenge myself a little more, so I moved up to a 2o minute workout with intervals of 3 mph. I did that one over and over until April 6. I tried another hike with incline up to 10% and lasted about 12 1/2 minutes. I remember saying that I just can't do incline. That same day I tried a 32-minute walk that had a steady pace of 2.4 mph and brief inclines. I lasted 9 minutes that first time. I tackled it again the next day and completed it! I did that one over and over until May 25, when I felt I was ready to challenge myself again. At this point I took on a 33-minute walk with a pace of no more than 2.8 mph and some brief inclines up to 10% toward the end. I did that one over and over until June 22. At this point I moved up to a 36-minute hike with a 2.7 mph pace and lots of incline. I did this one over and over until September 27. By now I felt ready for anything other than jogging so I started doing a variety of workouts from all different trainers with all different types of speeds and inclines. I did try jogging, but I just can't do it. My point here is it took about 7 months to build up my endurance and stamina, so 3 days into Nutrisystem 2.0 I have to accept that I have a long, long way to go. I have to keep telling myself it's not going to happen overnight, so that I don't get discouraged and give up. 

It's nearly 10 pm and I'm getting tired, so I'm heading to bed. I made it through a Friday evening without snacking! This is huge! Now to get through the weekend!