Day 61: Begin Again

 

Day 61 of Nutrisystem 2.0 kicked off just after 8 am. A reminder came up in my phone to weigh myself and take progress photos. Apparently I was one day early when I weighed myself yesterday ! I weighed myself again this morning and the number was still a disappointment - 236. Still zero progress since the last time I weighed myself. The only good thing is (technically) I haven't gained anything. I took progress photos but I didn't use my tripod. I don't see much of a difference, which is no surprise considering I've only lost 11 pounds. My stomach has gone down some and perhaps a fraction on my hips. I looked again at the photos from 2021 and I wanted to cry. I looked so good and I was so happy. GOD DAMMIT - I AM GOING TO DO THIS !!!!

Here is January - February - March

Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a chocolate shake. Lunch was freshly roasted carrots and a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was 200 calorie cheese & crackers. Dinner was more carrots and a 250 calorie meatloaf sandwich. I added some dill relish and ketchup. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1160.

I planned to get on the treadmill at noon but my tablet was at 20% charge. I put it on the charger and reset my workout time to 1 pm .. which slipped to 2 pm .. but I got there ! First workout was 38m13s in Namibia. I think this is the longest workout I've done since probably 2021. I didn't get a second workout in. Instead, I went outside around 6 to shovel the snow away from my side door, front steps and sidewalk. When Doug plowed yesterday he left a big pile of snow that was partially blocking the sidewalk so I cleared that away. I'd say I burned a fair amount of calories as the snow is the heavy wet stuff. It was almost 40 degrees so it was the perfect time to be outside ! I also changed the bulb in my floodlight over the garage and it lit, but the motion sensor on the fixture doesn't seem to be working so it doesn't come when motion is detected. One bulb is still working and I have a dusk to dawn bulb on the light right outside the side door, so the area is well lit all night anyways. When I have the siding done and replace the garage door I plan to have new lighting installed, so for the time being I'm going to order some motion sensing floodlight bulbs. I'd like to have carriage lights on either side of the garage door along with floodlights overhead. One of these days I need to see if I can change the bulb in my garage door opener. It's been out for years. 

So as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, my weight loss is at a standstill. Again, I have no one to blame but myself and I know why .. but it still hurts. I guess I don't care enough about myself to buckle down and do what I know is necessary to lose the weight and maintain it. The fact that I ordered 6 POUNDS of caramels (plus a small 7 oz. bag to get my total up to $60 and free shipping) last night tells me where my priorities are. I am going to work very hard to practice moderation. 1-2 caramels in any given day will be the max. I'm also taking a break from cheese & crackers once the open block of cheese I have is gone. I bought a tub of cottage cheese (80 calories in 1/2 cup) and some oatmeal cookies (90 calories in 2) - my old lower calorie favorites ! The problem with cheese is the fact that the fat content makes for a tiny serving. The cheese I'm eating right now is maple bacon flavor and has 130 calories in 1 ounce, so I've been going with 0.8-0.9 ounces (104-117 calories) and the crackers have 100 calories in 10. The 2 pound block of cheddar I have has 110 calories in 1 ounce, so it's not much better. I've never been a huge cheese eater and this giant block of cheese was a Costco impulse buy. I'm thinking about maybe trying to make macaroni & cheese with it, and taking it to Easter as a surprise if it's good. We'll see !

So yesterday I sat on the couch all day feeling sorry for myself. Today was a better day. Yep, I ordered those caramels but the fact of the matter is that just having them in the house is comfort that I need. I can't explain why but it's likely related the traumas of the past and the fact that chocolate was my comfort for many, many years. Let's face it: chocolate makes you feel good ! Spring is coming and I'm hopeful that as winter fades away my mood will lift and I'll be able to buckle down and STAY buckled down. The caramels will keep in the fridge and freezer for a long time. The day wasn't a total waste. I roasted the carrots. I vacuumed up the bits of cat food in the dining room. I did some laundry.

In the ongoing saga of my new Hoka's, today I trimmed down the padding I have on my toe and the fit was much more comfortable. It seemed like they would be tight on the right foot when I first put them on and then loosen up later, so I'm thinking maybe I've had a little swelling in my feet. I've been using the butter flavored salt on my veggies so I'm going to back off on that. My new Clifton 8s have been shipped so they'll be here this week. I don't plan on wearing them now, I just wanted to have them since people don't seem to like the Clifton 9 and the 8 will likely not be in stock much longer. So I'm all set with treadmill shoes until 2024 !

Another week begins tomorrow and, as always, the goal is to keep to my diet and exercise program. I'm not going to sweat about a piece of chocolate here and there. Denying myself that little treat is the reason I end up basically bingeing, and I have never been one to binge. Handfuls of chocolates or multiple pieces are going to be the problem, so that's something I have to work hard to avoid. I'm also not going to obsess over where I am as of today. It's done. I can't change what has already happened. I can try to learn from it and do better going forward. The good news is I had zero chocolate today until about 9:50 pm, when I had a Reese's peanut butter egg (85 calories). I satisfied the craving and now that I know chocolate is available, I feel better mentally and I feel more able to have smaller quantities. This brought my calories for the day up to 1245, which is perfectly fine. 

On that note, I'm going to bed. It's pretty late for me when I have to get up for work !