Day 118: Hello Sunshine !

 

Today is day 118 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and I woke up to blue skies and sunshine ! Despite the sun it was still chilly - not even 40 degrees ! More rain was in the forecast so I knew it wasn't going to last, but it was still a nice way to start the day ! It's a good thing I woke up early (around 6:15) because my alarm was off again ! I don't know why this is happening but it's pretty frustrating. I think it has something to do with using the "modes & routines" feature. Maybe it was shut off automatically because my phone sensed that I was already up and moving. It usually asks if I want to turn off the alarm but it didn't do that today. I try to remember to check the alarm at bedtime to make sure it is on, but that doesn't always happen.

Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake. Lunch was a chef salad & 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. I had my "afternoon snack" after dinner .. 80 calorie yogurt & 90 calorie oatmeal cookies. Dinner was green beans & a 250 calorie meatloaf sandwich. Evening snack was a chocolate cupcake. Total calories are 1140.

Yesterday's exercise was the 2 walking challenges for this week and today I completed the 2 "running" challenges. Since I don't run I overrode the programmed settings to a pace I could manage. Today I opted for intervals and put in 26m53s. Dialing it back to 2 workouts a day was the right decision !

The last topic in the Forbes article regarding self-sabotage is the big question: Am I A Self-Saboteur ? Here is what the article had to say:

There isn’t a formal diagnosis for self-sabotage. However, speaking with a mental health professional can help uncover certain behaviors and their potential triggers.

You can also enlist the help of those around you to reveal how you might be self-sabotaging. “It’s sometimes clearer to others what we put in the way of our own progress”.

A few giveaways that you are self-sabotaging include:

You often ask yourself why things don’t go as planned

You often second-guess or doubt yourself

You don’t even try to reach your goal

You find yourself doing things that result in the opposite of what you wanted

I would agree that I often second-guess or doubt myself, but I'm not sure I can say I exhibit any of the other signs listed above on a regular basis. I don't find myself asking why things don't go as planned. I usually know why or just blame myself. I do try to reach goals, but I will admit I have a tendency to avoid trying. That's not to say I don't even try. I do, it just takes me some time to get to a point where I'm willing to make the attempt. I do have a fear of failure. Do I find myself doing things that result in the opposite of what I want ? Well, maybe eating things I shouldn't or failing to exercise fall into that category. I'm still not sure I am in fact a self-saboteur, even though I may exhibit some of the behaviors. Everyone who doesn't try isn't a self-saboteur. Sometimes you just know your limits or you know yourself well enough to know you're not ready for whatever it is. It would be easy to slap a label on and point to that when things don't go your way. Problem is, if you accept that and stop trying then your awareness hasn't really helped you change anything. I hesitate to apply labels to myself because it is too easy to use that as an excuse. In reality, I do not like labels. Today I realized that I skipped over one of the 7 symptoms ! Ironically enough, I skipped over Perfectionism ! I will talk about that tomorrow and then come to a final decision. Am I or Am I not a self-saboteur !?!

Work was busy as usual, but not overwhelmingly so. I pretty much just work at my own pace and what gets done, gets done. I was letting myself get a little bogged down because of some really complex items that came my way, so I've pushed them back a bit to work on some other things. Once I've cleared some of the easier stuff I'll be in a better place mentally to tackle the really ugly stuff ! My boss offered me OT again this week but right now I don't think it would be a good use of time. I did tell her I would gladly work if something urgent came along that she needed done right away.

My new electric lawnmower was delivered today ! I can't wait to unpack it, charge up the batteries and get the lawn in shape ! That probably won't happen until this weekend because of all the rain. We had rain yesterday and by lunchtime today we'd had a couple showers and more is forecast for tomorrow. Lucky for me the mower arrived in between showers so I was able to pull it into the garage before the box got rained on. The shipped weight was nearly 100 pounds so I had left a sign on the porch door instructing the driver to leave it by the garage door, which he did. I was certainly not expecting him to hoist it up the stairs onto the porch. I was glad to see he had a dolly to bring it from the street ! Friday, Saturday and Sunday look to be rain free so the lawn will definitely get mowed. It's getting pretty long in some areas so I will probably put the blade up high for the first mow. I'm excited !

I talked to the siding guy and he's going to come by on Tuesday with the contract and spend some time going over everything that he is going to do. I want to make sure we are both on the same page and have the same expectations before I sign anything or give him any money. He expects to be able to start mid to late June and that is great. I can't wait ! He did assure me he is on site every day and I was glad to hear that. I don't want someone who just drops a bunch of guys off and then disappears. I plan to review the work with him each day to ensure we are staying on track and keeping to the plan. I also intend to take a video and some additional "before" photos, along with progress photos each day.

It's getting late so it's about time to get my mag & Meta and head for bed. Both of my Nutrisystem orders are coming tomorrow and I'm looking forward to that. My inventory of Nutrisystem foods is lower than it's been in a long, long time but that is a good thing ! It forced me to use up most of the stuff that is getting old and I'll be able to fit everything in the freezer easily. They have a 50% off sale going now and I'm thinking about ordering another month's worth of food. That usually saves me an extra $100 over the auto-ship price. I'll look into that tomorrow !