Day 119: So, What's The Verdict ?

 

Today is day 119 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and it was another chilly morning at 40 degrees ! The high for today was only 45 and skies were gray. We had some showers but the rain is supposed to out of here by tomorrow afternoon. I really need a couple dry days before I attempt to mow the lawn !

Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was a chef salad & 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was 80 calorie cottage cheese & 90 calorie oatmeal cookies. Dinner was broccoli & 260 calorie roasted turkey medallions. Evening snack was a 140 calorie lemon zest cake. Total calories are 1140.

With this week's iFit challenges out of the way, I started a walking series that I first did last July. Part 2 of the series is out now so I decided to repeat Part 1 before I embark on Part 2, since my fitness is not at the same level as it was a year ago. It's 10 workouts and the goal is to complete all of them by Sunday, so that I can start Week 2 of the May challenges on Monday. I got 45m43s in on the treadmill, along with 12 minutes of warmup/cooldown for a grand total of 57m43s. I really like the trainer (Paulo Barreto aka Hannah Eden's hubby!) and the pace of the workouts are perfect for me, because it is a beginner walking/hiking series.

Work was much more productive today ! I started off strong and kept the momentum going right up until lunch time, though I did take a break for a quick shower and to style my hair. Why would I do that in the middle of the day in the middle of the week ? Well, my boss let me know that her boss wanted me to get on a quick video call so he could acknowledge the award I've been given ! There was no way I was going to that call without a shower, a touch of makeup and with my hair styled. That little touch up was well worth the 5 minutes I spent on the call .. lol ! You know, I need to do my hair and throw on a little makeup more often. If definitely perks you up ! I'm really pleased with the amount of work I got out of the way today, because it's cleared the way for the complicated project I've been avoiding for the past couple days. Some people would say you need to tackle the hard stuff first, but I find it works better to clear away all of the easy stuff. With less volume I am better able to focus on the more complex issues, because I'm not worrying about everything else I need to get done.

So today I'm looking at the last sign you might be a self-saboteur: Perfectionism. This was the sign I had skipped over. Hmm, was that intentional ?!?!! The article had this to say:

Perfectionism can also lead to self-sabotage if you end up setting standards for yourself that are impossible to reach.

To be honest, I feel like the author should have explored this topic a little more. I do somewhat agree with the statement, with a caveat. I tend to set goals that are too far forward, as opposed to impossible to reach. I'm learning that I need to set mini-goals that are achievable within a short timeframe, rather than long range far-reaching goals. Example is the fact that I want to get my weight back to 160. That's not an impossible goal, BUT lasering in on 160 every day when I am 70 pounds away makes it seem impossible and it can be overwhelming. Right now today I am trying to get to 229. Does that fall into perfectionism ? Do I set standards for myself that are impossible to reach ? I honestly don't think I do. I'm not even sure I have "standards". I may be a little overboard when it comes to my professional standards. Is that a bad thing ? It's sometimes hard to admit I'm not perfect if a mistake is brought to my attention, but I typically learn from it and try not to repeat it. On the outside I will freely admit to a mistake, as I am human. However, on the inside I will obsess over it for a while. The key is not letting it overtake your life. I process whatever it is and eventually let it go. Do I forget my mistakes ? Well, I tend not to but again I think that helps keep me from making the same mistake twice. I don't think that's a bad thing unless you allow it to consume you. I would say that I am a little bit of a perfectionist but I don't think that is a bad thing and I don't think it impacts my life to any great degree.

So what's my conclusion ? Well, I don't think I'm a self-saboteur. I am more inclined to kill myself to do something correctly (and perfectly) and then be surprised that I did it. I don't find myself saying "I can't do that" and then not trying. I used to say I couldn't jog or run but I did try. Had I put more effort into it, I'm sure I could have progressed to that stage but the reality is my treadmill is not designed for running. I also worry about the strength of the floors in my 130 year old house ! In the end I realized I never aspired to be a jogger or runner, so why was I chasing that ? A couple years ago when my job changed drastically I was convinced I was never going to "get it" and I was stressed beyond belief. I was working until 9 pm every night and on weekends to learn this new work and get the work done, because we had inherited a huge backlog. I was frantic, to be honest. In the end I did "get it" and I'm pretty much the star of the team right now. That was never my intention, as I looked at what I was doing as "my job" and I gained a great deal of personal satisfaction from my work. I still do today ! Yes, the awards or kudos are great but it hasn't changed my work ethic. Awards or no awards I'm still going to work just as hard as I always have. I think a big part of my drive is I want our team to continue to succeed and stay around ! I've faced job loss so many times over the years and it's horrible to have that constantly hanging over your head. I just celebrated 38 years of service on April 29 - which is pretty hard to believe - but I need 6 more years to reach full retirement age ! That would bring me to 44 years of service, so I'd probably stick around to reach 45 !

My Nutrisystem orders were delivered about 6:15, which was perfect timing. I put my broccoli in the microwave to cook and then got busy unpacking everything into the freezer. Since my inventory is low, everything fit with ease. I haven't put the 12 tubs of shake mix away yet. I'm going to have to rearrange the pantry a little so I'll work on that Friday night or over the weekend. I have a large cabinet that I took from my mom's house and I haven't put anything in it yet. I think this would be a good place to stow the tubs of shake mix. I also have drawers that belong in the pantry but they've been out in the garage since the fire. I need to clean them out and bring them back inside. Getting the garage cleared out is on my agenda ! I have vacation coming up (5-29 to 6-2) and I plan to make good use of my time off !

I made the mistake of taking all my vitamins with my dinner and that left my stomach a little unsettled. I had a 90 calorie packet of thin cookies to see if that would help. It didn't really, so I had the rest of the low-fat wheat thins. That helped more, so I'm headed to bed !