Day 127: Trying To Right The Ship

 

Today is day 127 of Nutrisystem 2.0. It's been nice to wake up to blue skies and sunshine this week. Mornings are still cool so I haven't been able to work out on the porch all day. I go out after my lunchtime workout. Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer so I'm hoping I can spend the whole day out there !

Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was a chef salad & 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was 80 calorie cottage cheese & 90 calorie oatmeal cookies. Dinner was broccoli & 260 calorie lasagna with meat sauce. Evening snack was basically an entire sleeve of the tea cookies I bought a couple weeks ago. Total calories for today are 1200+. The good (well, bad) news is I've eaten 3 of the 4 bags of cinnamon sugar pretzel crisps that I bought. They were a disappointment and I won't buy them again,. I also ate 2 boxes of the 90 calorie thin cookies. I still have 4 boxes. I also have 2 sleeves of the tea cookies plus another full box left. Sigh. I pretty much ate the calories I burned on the treadmill, and then some.  :(

I got 51m52s in on the treadmill today and that's a big improvement ! I did the 21 minute hike during lunch and that really made me work hard. It had a section at 10% incline but the speed was low enough that I was able to make it through. I was proud that I didn't change any of the programmed settings and I didn't have to hold on to the rails. I did the 31 minute walk right after work and I did change the settings on that, mostly because of the length but also because it had some sections at 3.5 mph and that's too fast for me right now. At the 30 minute mark I set the speed at 2.3 mph and I increased it 0.1 mph every 5 minutes. The workout did have some incline but nothing over 4%, so I didn't need to override that.

Work was busy today but also very productive. I closed a bunch of really old projects and lined up a few to work on tomorrow. The announcement regarding the award I won went out to the masses today, so I got a few congrats from colleagues. That was really nice. Our director will probably acknowledge it on our monthly all hands call, so I'll probably have to do my hair again and be on video that day .. lol !

I managed to get up early today and get a shower in before work. I've been slacking the past couple of days on everything: showering, skincare, vitamins, exercise, mag & Meta ... not sure why - maybe just lazy. My body definitely misses the Metamucil ! It was my hope that starting the day with a shower would lead to better decisions all day long.

I looked a bit this morning at ways to take better care of myself. As with most everything in life, people are happy to tell you what you need to do but they assume you know how to do it or that you can do it. I know I need to shower every day, brush my teeth every day, do skincare every day, take my vitamins every day etc. I know all that - the problem is I do it for a few days, then something happens to "interfere" with my routine and that's it - I fall off the track. I created a schedule to try and get my evenings on track and I've already abandoned it. I'm beginning to think I need to explore perfectionism, because it seems that if something isn't "perfect" then I don't want to bother with it. The schedule is a good example. I don't think I had one week that was "perfect" and I think that's why I abandoned it. I'm seeing that I tend to detach from anyone or anything that is not perfect. I need to turn around and look at myself. I am not perfect, I will freely tell people that I am not perfect ... yet I expect myself to be perfect. Since that is not reality, I am continually disappointing myself and perpetuating a cycle of negative emotions. Right now I feel a little like I did years ago when I described my life as feeling like I was running downhill and could not stop. I think part of it is the siding job hanging over me. Committing to spending over $40k is massive for me, because I've never had much money. Despite my performance at work and the nature of the work our team does, I still worry about being laid off. I would really like to hang in there for another 5-7 years.

I started this blog before work and pledged that I would have a better day. How did I do ? I did better. I started with the shower. I put some moisturizer on, so I got skin care in. I took all my vitamins. I got 2 workouts in. I've taken my mag & Meta and I'll brush when my teeth when I get upstairs. The cookies are my fail for the day, but at least I didn't add my "evening snack" on top of it. I've done that more times than I care to admit !

I feel like I had a better day and I'll see if I can repeat it tomorrow. TGIF !