2023: Finding My Way Back

  Day 14 of Nutrisystem 2.0 started off with a beautiful sunrise. I was going to post it to my Instagram and Facebook but someone had beat me to it, so it seemed pointless. I'm just glad I got to see it and I can post it here for me to enjoy ! We had this beautiful sky but the day turned gray and rainy, as predicted ! Breakfast was a 260 calorie Jimmy Dean Delights breakfast sandwich. These are becoming a habit, but it also gives me a break from yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake. Lunch was a chef salad and 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was 80 calorie cottage cheese and 60 calorie diced peaches. The entire can of peaches would be 110 calories but there was no way I could eat an entire can . Dinner was a 210 calorie broccoli & cheese stuffed chicken breast with freshly roasted carrots and some green beans. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1090. Last night I successfully avoided the bedtime s...

  Day 12 and 13 of Nutrisystem 2.0 was a pair of chilly days. We did have some sun, which was nice to see, but we barely made it to 20 degrees ! My days have not gone as planned, and I'm really disappointed in myself. I spent much of yesterday on the couch. Didn't go near the treadmill. Didn't start the laundry until 6 pm. Didn't clean out the closet as I planned. I did start the job but it quickly became overwhelming because there is so much stuff in there. I did manage to reorganize the drawers that hold my workout gear. I moved the stuff that doesn't fit (but will!) to the bottom drawer, put the summer stuff in the middle drawer and put what I am wearing now in the top drawer. No surprise, the top drawer has a lot of room in it ! I said the job became overwhelming and that's because I let myself be tripped up by the thought that I have to start and finish the job right now. Same goes for the box of paperwork that is destined for my new file cabinet. Looked in...

  Day 11 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and it's a chilly Saturday. It was 17 degrees when I got up shortly before 9 am, with just a trace of light snow falling. Our "high" was 20 and we're headed back to the teens overnight. Since I got my heating system fixed I haven't had to worry about the house being warm enough. This has been a huge stress reliever.  Breakfast was a 260 calorie Jimmy Dean Delights breakfast sandwich. Morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack ended up being low fat wheat thins and peanut butter. I don't think the calories exceeded the allotment for my lunch and 2 snacks, but I wasn't hungry so there was no point in forcing myself to eat more. Dinner was a 250 calorie chicken enchilada with a bowl of green beans. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake with a large glass of milk. I don't have an exact calorie count but I'm sure it was 1200 or less. My "countable" calories are 650, which leaves 550 to spare. I don't t...

  Day 10 of Nutrisystem 2.0 ! I titled this Post "weekend challenge" because weekends have always been a challenge for me, and this is the second weekend since my restart. I don't eat at the same intervals and have a lot more free time to think about eating ! This is where my mom's advice to "keep busy" comes in. Last weekend I slacked off on exercise but I didn't overeat, so there is hope. The challenge for this weekend is to keep to my exercise routine and to eat at the same intervals. I want to get 3 workouts in each day, but I'll be okay as long as I get 2 each day. These are entirely reachable goals, so I have no excuses if I fail to meet them. Heard the sad, sad news that Lisa Marie Presley passed away at the age of 54 yesterday. This girl had such a sad life, losing her dad when she was only 9, and now her children have been left without their mom. My first thought was drugs as she was found unresponsive in her home yesterday and she didn'...

  Day 9 of Nutrisystem 2.0. I weighed myself this morning and sure enough, I was down to 239 ! I'm feeling better about "only" losing 5 pounds in the first week, because there are so many things that can effect your weight from day to day. There's a lesson here, because I tend to react too quickly sometimes. I need to learn to stop and breathe first. Since my life has gotten better I'm more able to deal with things as they come, but I still let myself get all worked up for no reason. Does it really matter if you lose 5 pounds or 6 ? Well, sure it does when you have 87 to lose ! I felt like I was doing such a great job sticking to the plan and, to be honest, I was hoping to lose closer to 10. This is another example of unrealistic expectations and setting myself up for failure. Hope to lose 10 .. only lose 5 .. failure. How do you lower your expectations ? Honestly, I don't know. I guess I'm afraid to set them too low and just be happy if I lose anything in...

  Day 8 of Nutrisystem. Today was my first weigh in and, to be honest, I was disappointed. I'm at 240, which means a loss of 5 pounds since January 4. I can console myself with the fact that I've lost 7 pounds since January 2, but it's not enough. This is a problem, because most people would be thrilled to lose 5 pounds in a week or 7 pounds in 9 days. I'm not. I feel deflated and I'm very disappointed. Maybe that's because it means I still have 80 pounds to go to reach 160, and that's hard to accept. Maybe it's because I don't think I'll be at 199 or below by Easter and I want to "wow" my family. Attention seeking ? Sure, it's some of that. Maybe it's because I just want all the weight to fall off overnight, even though it took over a year to put it on. I remember towards the end of my first journey I just wanted to be "done". This is why I declared I had reached my goal weight of 150, even when I hadn't. The lowe...

  Day 7 of Nutrisystem ! When I restarted this journey I wasn't sure if I could stick to the plan, since I'd been out of control for a long while. I'm pleasantly surprised that getting back on track was relatively easy. The challenge is going to be staying on track. That's the hard part. It helps that I am home all week and that my weekend casino trips have ended. If I don't have tempting foods in the house and I stay away from restaurants, that is half the battle. Staying away from temptation in the grocery store is also key to my success. I've learned that I can't bring anything in the house with the intent of having one "once in a while" or in moderation. I'm not good at moderation. If one tastes delicious, then I want 2 or 3 or 4 and before you know it the package is empty. Then I'll go out and buy 2 packages so I don't "run out". I have a bit of food insecurity and I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe because for so many y...

  Day 6 of Nutrisystem and it's Monday. The start of the work week is a lot more peaceful now that I work from home. There is no mad rush to get up and get ready for the the 40 minute commute to the office. I used to leave super early so that I could get the prime end space on the first level of the parking garage. That space made it so much easier to back out and leave, so I tried to get downtown by 7 am to make sure no one grabbed it. I liked getting to the office early so I could enjoy my coffee and have my breakfast in peace. I stopped having to make that commute in late summer of 2019, only having to commute to the Bridge St. office 2 days a week. I didn't mind that commute as parking was free and it was easy to reach via 481. Once COVID came along in March 2020 I started working from home and that is now permanent. So "going to work" now means rolling out of bed and logging in. I try to get up by 7 but my body doesn't always cooperate, especially on cold win...

Day 5 of Nutrisystem 2.0 dawned chilly and gray. It was 23 degrees, and a tiny bit of a very fine snow was trying to fall. By 10:30 we were up to a balmy 25 and there was no trace of snow. Since I've restarted Nutrisystem a kind of peacefulness has come over me. Before January 4 I was thinking about my weight and how unhappy I was every day. Now I get up with a renewed sense of purpose. I have something to focus on and that helps me get through the days. Life is lonely without mom. All week I would look forward to our casino trips and those days are gone. I don't really see my family unless it's a special occasion and I don't have any friends. That sounds so sad and pathetic but I'm used to it and the key here is to keep busy. My mother always said you have to keep busy and she was so right about that. I know mom was lonely after dad passed. Until Alex passed away in 2014 I had him to talk to, even though our marriage was rocky. Once he was gone I still had my mom t...

  Day 4 of Nutrisystem 2.0 dawned gloomy and damp. It was 34 degrees and wet from overnight rain. The forecast yesterday called for a chance of snow today but that changed, and no snow is predicted for the weekend. Saturday mornings are hard because I used to roll out of bed knowing I had to shower and get myself ready for a day at the casino with mom. In the winter I always had to look at the forecast to make sure we weren't going to get blasted with snow while we were out. Now I wake up with really nothing to look forward to, so the weather doesn't really matter. Saturdays are hard. Winter is hard. Losing weight is hard. Getting fit is hard. Yep, sometimes life is just plain hard. You can collapse in a ball, or you can figure out a way to make it work. I've finally chosen to make it work.  On a positive note, the scale read 241 this morning! I've lost 6 pounds since January 2, which is 4 pounds since I restarted Nutrisystem. I was at 240 on November 7, so I'm glad...

  Day 3 of Nutrisystem 2.0 did not find me awake early, but I was not in any mood to get up at 7 either. That is probably because I fell asleep early and woke up at 10 pm thinking I had slept half the night. I woke again near 3:30 am. Both times I had to pee so that didn't help. I didn't wake up hungry so I'm feeling like not eating in bed is really helping. This proves my point that carbs fueled my hunger. This is a point I've proven to myself over and over, so you'd think I'd stop letting myself overdo the carbs.   I didn't have breakfast until nearly 10:30 am. I had a 150-calorie package of pancakes with sugar free syrup. I got a yogurt out but never ate it. Morning snack was a 120-calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was a chef salad with fat free dressing and a 220-calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was the usual 80 calorie cottage cheese and 90 calorie oatmeal cookies. Dinner was a 250-calorie chicken enchilada with a bag of brussel sprouts. Eveni...