2023: Finding My Way Back

  Today should have been day 208 of Nutrisystem 2.0 but instead it's Day 3 of Round 4. I've had to abandon the idea of doing shakes only, after a scary night. Just before midnight I got up to pee and ended up face planting in the doorway of my bedroom. I was off balance when I got up and once I didn't have the support of the bed I staggered, trying to find something to hold me up, and ended up face first on the carpet. I now have a rug burned left knee, a sore right elbow, and rug burn on my upper lip and nose ! My teeth took a jolt too but they're all intact ! I sat on the toilet for a bit alternating between feeling like I had to throw up or pass out, while sweating profusely. I suspect my blood pressure and/or heart rate dropped suddenly and severely when I got up and caused me to go down. I feel like I'm lucky I didn't get hurt worse, especially considering my cell phone was on the overhead shelf of my headboard and wouldn't have been reachable from the ...

  Today should have been day 207 of Nutrisystem 2.0 but instead it's Day 2 of Round 4. The first day of this round was much easier than expected. This is probably because my body was using all the carbs and sugar I ate on Friday as fuel ! I knew that today there would be less of that available and at some point my body will have no choice but to burn fat for fuel. That is the goal of low carb, low fat diets ! I weighed myself this morning and I'm at 243. I was at 245 on January 4, 2023 when I launched "Nutrisystem 2.0", so I guess the good news is I've lost 2 pounds this year .. lol ! I was happy with this weight, as I honestly expected to be closer to 250 or more. A realistic goal for my weight is 165, so we'll say I have 78 pounds to go ! Getting to 199 is beyond the halfway mark, so that's a good long term goal right now. My micro goal is to be at 220 or less by 8-31. That is 23 pounds in about a month - very ambitious ! Last night I showered and brushe...

  Today should have been day 206 of Nutrisystem 2.0 but I haven't really been doing 2.0 for a while, and 2.0 should really have been called 3.0 because it wasn't the first time I "restarted" this journey. In reality, if I'm being honest, today is the start of Nutrisystem 4.0 or Round 4 of my weight loss journey. Here I am, needing to lose 100 pounds AGAIN. Here I am, depressed. Here I am, defeated. Here I am, trying again anyway ! The first journey started January 4, 2019. I started again July 24, 2021 but didn't put much effort into it. My third try, dubbed Nutrisystem 2.0, started January 4, 2023. Again, I didn't put much effort into it. So, my 4th attempt starts today July 29, 2023. Big fat stretch goal: lose 100 pounds by July 29, 2024 ! Yes, I feel alone but the reality is this is a journey that you have to take alone. No one can do it for you. Yes, it would be nice to have someone at my side cheering me on but I don't have that. I have to be my o...

  Today is day 205 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and the forecast was calling for extreme heat. Despite that, the siding crew was hard at work by 8 am. They packed up and left before 12:30, which was no surprise. It's hot. It's Friday and it's Harbor Fest weekend ! I know they'll be back at it first thing Monday. Today they worked on rebuilding the soffit on the yard side of the house. They did the same on the driveway side earlier in the week and it gives the roof extra support, along with a nice finished look. Will tells me the guy that put the roof on did a crappy job. No surprise. That guy ripped me off but the roof & window job was done not long before my leukemia was diagnosed, so I wasn't well physically or mentally. The roof and windows are in pretty good shape so it's not all bad. Everything else will be weather tight now, so I shouldn't have bees in the house or birds roosting in my walls again. There is still a ton of work to do but I can already see how...

  Today is day 204 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and as expected, it got off to a rainy start. As a result, the siding crew spent their day working on an inside job elsewhere. We needed the rain and it was pretty breezy once the rain moved out, so by late morning I moved out to work on the front porch. By late afternoon it was hot out there and I wasn't being very productive, so I came back inside. I worked until 7 just to get a few OT hours in. Now that the chaos with my job has settled down and the siding job is well under way, I really need to refocus on diet and exercise. I'm pretty much out of excuses for my behavior ! Today I sat on my front porch with my hips bulging out on both sides of my chair. I'm so disappointed in myself. The bottom line is I have to regain control. Somehow. Some way. I have to do it. It has to be drastic as I can't trust myself to exercise moderation. Tonight I will finish the ice cream and then that's off the menu. I'm not buying any more sn...

  Today is day 203 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and it's time for some hard decisions. I didn't write yesterday. I think I'm avoiding it because it means examining what is going on in my life. I'm eating out of control and making zero progress with my weight. If anything, it's going in the wrong direction. Why ? Why am I doing this to myself ? I sit and look at the pictures I took when I reached my goal weight and I love how I looked and how I felt. Yet, here I am now fat, uncomfortable and unhappy.  On the good news front, the siding work is going well and it is clear that I hired the right guy. He cares about the work and isn't all about just making a fast buck. He's doing things right and that means a lot to me. Yesterday the crew spent a fair amount of time basically building a brand new soffit on the driveway side of the main house, since what was there was rotten. He could have just covered it up with siding and I'd have been none the wiser. I'm really s...

  Today is day 201 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and quite honestly, it is not going well. I am continuing to sabotage my efforts. I just don't know how to regain control. Saturday I bought 2 half gallons of ice cream and I've already finished one. Well, they're not half gallons anymore, more like 75% of a half gallon. Still - I'm out of control and struggling. I'm eating the snacks I bought for the siding crew too.  The siding crew was here bright and early but their day was cut short when a thunderstorm rolled in about 3:30. They were able to stop what they were doing, clean up and get on the road before the storm hit. I also had enough time to go out and take photos after they left. The rain started the moment I came back inside ! We had some heavy rain for about an hour and then the sun came out ! This storm had lots of lightning and thunder, so I'm glad the crew was able to pack up and get out of harms way. There's one part of the siding trim along the bottom of t...

  Today is day 200 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and it was another beautiful weekend !  Yesterday I went to see the Barbie movie with Lauren & Michelle. I enjoyed the move a lot more than I expected ! I slept in until almost 9:30 and after a leisurely breakfast and a little too much lounging on the couch, I had to scramble to wash the clothes I wanted to wear ! I managed to get that done with the "speed wash" setting but my capri's were a little damp when I left the house at 12:15. Since we went to Movie Tavern we had lunch there. I got the "tavern platter" which consisted of 4 mozzarella sticks, 4 chicken tenders and a small portion of loaded fries. It came with marinara sauce, ketchup, ranch dressing and Nashville hot sauce. It was delicious and I ate every single bite ! I also had a "Malibu Barbie" cocktail, which had Malibu rum, Platinum rum, strawberry puree, passionfruit juice & sour mix. It was very refreshing ! I rode with Lauren and when we got ...

  Today is day 198 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and it's Friday ! My day got off to another early start thanks to some marauding trash pandas on the security camera at about 5:15 am. The raccoons have been eating the leftover dry cat food for a long time, so this is nothing new. It doesn't bother me as they don't cause any problems and maybe it keeps them from disturbing people's trash cans or getting into other mischief ! You have to admit - they are cute ! I'm glad today is Friday as I didn't get to sleep until after midnight and the early wake up left me fatigued. A brief thunderstorm rolled in just before midnight so that kept me awake for a little bit. It didn't last long but it was fast and furious with a heavy downpour. Today's forecast originally called for thunderstorms all day but it changed overnight to just being cloudy. As a result, the siding crew was on the job today ! I'm sure they enjoyed the cool, breezy day over the hot sun they've endur...

  Today is day 197 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and my days have been getting off to early starts, which I actually like !  Yesterday was a solid day of work for the siding crew. They're working hard to get all the rotted boards replaced with plywood and then adding a layer of insulation. The siding goes on top of that. Siding is already going up on the garage and it looks so nice ! It's nice to walk in the garage and not see gaps where you can see outside ! They ended up boarding up all the windows since they were rotting and in really rough shape. I'm happy with this decision and adding the new LED light inside replaces the natural light. I think it will be warmer in the winter and much dryer all year round. No windows makes it a more secure space too. They also ripped off the rotting basement door. I can't wait to see what that looks like when they're done. The guys seem to like the snack box I made, although I noticed almost all of the cookies are gone ! I may run to Walm...

  Today is day 195 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and it got off to an early start ! A car going down the street woke me up just before 5 am and after a few minutes I knew I was not going to be able to go back to sleep. I didn't hear the alert on my phone but that must be what woke me up because my security camera went off at 4:42 and it was 4:48 when I checked the time. The contractor left building materials and his locked tool trailer in my yard and I was paranoid that someone would break in or steal the wood, so I moved my laundry room Ring camera to the window by the bathroom. I also left the porch light, back light and a living room light on all night to deter theft. I had a tough time getting to sleep because I was so worried about someone stealing the 2x4's or underlayment. I've never had any problem with theft in my neighborhood but I know times are tough and wood is not cheap.  Since I was up early I got the garbage out early too. Last week they surprised me and came well befo...

  Today is day 194 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and I haven't taken the time to write for over a week ! My last day of vacation (Sunday - day 186) was uneventful. I pretty much chilled on the couch watching tv and playing a slot game on FB.  Day 187 (Monday) was the day to end all days. We had torrential rain all day and historic flooding was everywhere. Shortly before noon I noticed my yard was turning into a stream, although most of the water ended up in my neighbors yard thanks to the grading Doug did in my yard. I literally had a waterfall on the steps that run along the garage. I discovered that the runoff from the parking lot behind me is all directed into my yard. I plan to fix that by digging a trench to redirect the water. It will still go out into my yard (and the neighbors) but it won't run along the garage. My sump pump got the workout of it's life and it did not disappoint ! At first it was able to keep up but eventually I had several inches of water in the basement and ...

  Today is day 185 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and today I am committed to working harder to stick to the Nutrisystem plan. I'm learning that I can't expect perfection and I need to give in to cravings now and then. The key is not to make that an every day occurrence. I am still struggling with this. One thing I've decided to do is to stop detailing what I eat each day. It doesn't seem to help me make better decisions and it's often a source of shame and disappointment.  The guy that was doing the site survey for my new garage door showed up around 7:45 am. Since I got up just after 6 I had time to kill and spent some time cleaning a bit more in the garage while I waited. I cleared off about half of the workbench, in the event my siding guy wants to store anything inside while he is doing the work. I also swept up the floor around my car.  The door I chose will fit fine although I will have to pay a little more to have steel hangers installed, as the existing door rails are ...

  Today is day 184 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and today is the day .. the day I go back to 100% compliance with Nutrisystem. The house has been purged of candy, hot dogs, ice cream and other poor food choices. Well, at least it was as of this morning .. but things change on a dime around here ! Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Lunch was a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Dinner was a 220 calorie chicken fettuccine alfredo over riced cauliflower. I didn't have a morning or afternoon snack. Evening snack was some cinnamon cashews. Bag says 150 calories in 1/4 cup. I probably had 4 servings .. so 600 calories. Not exactly the day I planned ! This morning I decided to sign up for and complete a safe driver course, as it saves you 10% on the your car insurance for 3 years. I signed up via AAA and over the next 3 years I will save more than the $28 it cost. I started around 9:30 am and didn't finish until almost 5 pm. I took a break here and...

  Today is day 183 of Nutrisystem 2.0 and I resolved to get myself back on track starting today ! I planned to be 100% compliant but I had 2 hot dogs & 2 hot dog rolls left, so I opted to have those for dinner. I also had ice cream while I was out and some salsa and chips before bed. Those were the only exceptions I allowed myself. Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Lunch was that that ice cream. Dinner was the 2 hotdogs. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. I didn't have a morning or afternoon snack. Late this evening I finished off a jar of salsa (unlimited on Nutrisystem) and a fair number of chips. Today was forecast to be 93 degrees ! It was already 80 at 10 am but we made it up to 95 ! We had a very brief rain shower around 9 pm but it didn't amount to anything. I could not get to sleep last night and it was nearly 4 am by the time I finally passed out. Abby didn't care that I only had a couple hours sle...