2023: Finding My Way Back

  Day 28 of Nutrisystem 2.0. Since it is winter and I'm forced to be inside, it's hard not to feel isolated. Even if I lived closer to my family, they all work too so it's not like I'd be hanging at their houses all the time. I really miss being able to work out on the front porch. I miss the sunshine and the warmth and being able to sit out there and enjoy even the rainy days. I do enjoy watching a good blizzard since I don't have to go out, but we really haven't had one of those .. yet ! This winter has been relatively mild but that can change at any time. I'm glad that I have Nutrisystem and iFit to focus on. If I wasn't working on losing weight and regaining my fitness, I'd be sitting here eating myself to death. The casino used to be my happy place every weekend and I haven't been able to come up with a replacement to provide entertainment. I'm thinking that I may venture out to some of our local beaches this summer. Sure, it kind of suc...

  Day 27 of Nutrisystem 2.0. I made the mistake of getting on the scale this morning and I was disappointed yet again. It's holding steady at 237. I weighed myself twice because I couldn't believe it. I was dumbfounded and wondering what I was doing wrong. I said to myself "I've stuck to the program 100% and I've exercised every day". Well, during my first workout today I remembered Friday evening. Pizza - 2 pieces. Cookies - too many to count. Chocolates - about 8, I think. Wine - 2 glasses. Oops ... forgot the 2 servings of buffalo chicken dip and 2 piles of tortilla chips. So there was a fair amount of excess calories and 1 less workout .. but still .. no loss ? This is why weighing myself too often is a bad idea and this is why it's not ok for me to have a "cheat day". I sat there Friday eating cookies without even thinking about the calories. Didn't think about it when I helped myself to more dip & chips. Didn't think about it wh...

  Day 26 of Nutrisystem 2.0. I feel like I'm settling back into the reality of eating less and exercising more. These are the 2 keys to successful weight loss, no matter what diet or program you may be following. I'm really regretting the 1+ year that I veered off course and let food take over my life again. Honestly, I have no idea why it happened. It's not like life was bad - I wasn't eating for comfort until recently. I guess I just didn't care what I was doing to myself. Sweets are my biggest problem and I am reminded of that every evening when I have my snack before bed. The blast of sweetness from a chocolate cupcake or an ice cream sandwich makes me immediately want more and this is part of the reason having candy in the house is not a good idea for me. A couple of pieces once in a while becomes a handful and then it's all over. I have to eat it until it's gone and make sure I buy more so that I don't run out. Last night I had the same "urge...

  Day 25 of Nutrisystem 2.0. Another Saturday, another opportunity to do things right ! I woke up about 9:30 and, although I could have slept longer, I knew I had hungry cats downstairs.  It was nice to wake up to a quiet morning, as in there was no snow or rain falling. That isn't going to last as there is snow forecast for tonight and pretty much every day next week. Temps are forecast to drop into the teens with overnight single digits by Friday night, so I'm not looking forward to that ! My heat struggles to keep up when it's that cold, so I'm glad I have several electric heaters. Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake. Lunch was a chef salad and 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was 190 calorie cheese & crackers. Dinner was roasted turkey medallions with freshly roasted carrots. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories for the day a...

  Day 24 of Nutrisystem 2.0. Week 4 is off to a good start. I did give in to temptation this morning and weighed myself. 237.2 stared back at me, so that was a good way to start the day ! Checking the scale is a double-edged sword because it feels good when you lose and it's motivating. When you don't lose (or, God forbid, gain) it can be devastating and lead you to wonder why you bother. I don't think I ever saw a gain while I was adhering to Nutrisystem, but there were many weeks that I did not see a loss. That is just as frustrating as a gain. If you're following the program and exercising your ass off and then don't lose anything or you gain, you immediately blame yourself and vow to eat ever less and exercise more. That's often not the answer and you just have to keep doing what you're doing and maybe weigh yourself less often. After I got past the 100 pound mark my weight loss slowed and there were many weeks where I lost nothing. Since I was sharing m...

  Day 23 of Nutrisystem 2.0. The start of week 4. I had hoped to have lost more than 9 pounds by now, but I'm grateful to have not gained. I resisted the urge to weigh myself again this morning, because I don't want to become a slave to the scale. I wasn't one to weigh daily before, so I'm not going to start now. I am trying really hard to keep myself motivated and this has been a better week, despite the disappointing weigh in. I've stuck to the program 100% and the bedtime snacking has been eliminated. I am still tempted here and there, but I haven't given in. Every day I see those cookies in the freezer and every day I close that door. There are 2 muffins staring back at me. I don't see the bag of S'mores snack mix because I don't venture into that cupboard very often. I will eat it eventually, but now is not the time. Tomorrow is pizza at my sisters but I am bringing a salad and plan to have a big bowl of it. I also plan to eat a bag of veggies b...

  Day 22 of Nutrisystem 2.0 .. the end of week 3 and time for the "real" weigh in. I woke up dreading getting on the scale and I avoided it as long as possible. Well, the end result was a big fat 238. However, it was "exactly" 238, where yesterday it was 238 point something. I don't count the "point somethings" but that slight dip is encouraging. I still know that I have to avoid the "extras" and exercise a bit harder and more frequently. I'm still disappointed that I didn't lose any weight this week, but I'm using this to motivate me to do better this week.  Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was the usual 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt and a chef salad. Afternoon snack was 190 calorie cheese & crackers. Dinner was broccoli and a 260 calorie lasagna with meat sauce. Evening snack was a 130 calorie mint ice cream sandwich. Total calories for the da...

  Day 21 of Nutrisystem 2.0 was blessedly uneventful, but I thought it was weigh in day, so I got on the scale this morning. I'll get right to it: I lost nothing. I stared at a big fat 238. I was really disappointed and thinking about what could have happened. Well, let's see. I finished the can of trail mix I had. I snacked on pretzels in bed a couple of nights. Two nights ago I had some butter cookies. I had those 2 chocolate chip cookies on Saturday. I didn't exercise all weekend, and I've been taking it pretty easy when I do get on the treadmill - short, slow walks. I had some chocolates before bed last night. I'm not drinking enough water. Maybe I'm getting too much salt. Take each item alone and you think "that's not so bad" .. but when you add them all up into one week .. it is bad. The trail mix is gone. Check. Today was trash day so I tossed the remainder of the pretzels and butter cookies. Check. The only contraband left in the house is a...

  Day 20 of Nutrisystem 2.0 started off like any other Monday. Stayed awake too late last night and didn't want to get up. It was chilly in my room so about 5:15 I put the electric heater on so it would be warm when it was time to get up. I did boost myself out of bed before 7:30 because I had an early call and needed to make sure the cats were all fed first. Got that all done and logged in on time, only to have issues with accessing my files. I managed to wing it through my early conference call and then set to work getting whatever the problem was, fixed. It took until about 10 am to get the problem resolved and it was smooth sailing after that ! For once I did not panic and get angry about the situation. I just did what needed to be done to get through my call and then resolve the issue with the help desk.  Breakfast was 160 calorie buttermilk waffles with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was the usual 220 cal...

  Day 19 of Nutrisystem 2.0 started off like any other Sunday and ended like any other Sunday. I woke up around 8:30 and, although I could have gone back to sleep, I opted to get up because I knew the cats would be hungry. The outdoor cats were waiting at the door and Abby was right there waiting for her breakfast too, with Minnie not far away ! After they were all fed I grabbed my coffee and hopped on the couch. Usual weekend morning. Well, then I opened one of my online games. That was it, I got sucked right in and spent the whole day playing games. The only good thing about this is it keeps my mind off eating !  Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. I didn't have a morning snack. Lunch was a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack was cheese and crackers and I'm counting that at 200 calories. Dinner was a 250 calorie chicken enchilada with a giant bowl of broccoli. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Tota...

  Day 18 of Nutrisystem 2.0 got off to an early start. I woke up at 6:55 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I got up before 8 and started my day. That meant feeding the stray cats and my cats, then plopping on the couch with a steaming hot cup of coffee. I finally booted myself off the couch at 2:30 and heading out to shop. I'm low on k-cups so I headed to Christmas Tree Shop first. Well, that was a disappointment. Looks like they are no longer carrying Victor's coffee, which I've been buying there for several years ! They also don't seem to be stocking the sugar free coffee syrups I've also been using. I got a couple bottles of hazelnut but they had no other flavors. I used to buy salted caramel and vanilla. They actually didn't have much coffee at all and I saw a lot of empty shelves, so I don't know what's going on there. I probably won't go there anymore. I could get the Victor's coffee on Amazon but they want $35 for 80. It was $29 at CTS...

  Day 17 of Nutrisystem 2.0 was a better day than yesterday, though I almost allowed it to go off the rails again. Had a water main break on my street today so I was without water for about 2 hours. Naturally I obsessed over that, worrying about my heating system because it's hot water based. Everything worked fine and other than the water being somewhat brown for a while, all is well again. Still, although I had gotten dressed I didn't have my treadmill shoes on when lunch rolled around. I nearly let that simple detail keep me off the treadmill, with the thought "I'll do 2 workouts after work". Yeah, right. I have said that more than once and then did zero workouts. So I fed Abby her lunch, threw on my shoes and got it done !  Breakfast was 160 calorie buttermilk waffles with sugar free syrup. I got a yogurt out but never ate it. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake. Lunch was a chef salad and the usual 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Afternoon snack w...

  Day 16 of Nutrisystem 2.0 wasn't a day to brag about. For starters, I did not use the treadmill at all. I can excuse myself for lunchtime, because I used that time to unpack my Nutrisystem order and reorganize the freezer so that everything fit. It just barely fit, so I need to make sure I delay my next order. I have about 2 months worth of lunch, dinner and snacks. The only thing I would run short on is breakfast, but I can sub in the Jimmy Dean sandwiches or oatmeal. I also used a fair amount of time to cut up a salad. I say I can excuse myself for missing the treadmill at lunch because I didn't spend that hour sitting on my ass. After work, well - that's a different story. I got word that the sale of my mom's house is now final. My parent's moved in to that house when I was 4 months old and lived there until their deaths. So this was our family home, the only home we knew until we each went out on our own. I could easily have bought the house but it's a lot...

  Day 15 of Nutrisystem 2.0. Today was the 2 week weigh-in and I was disappointed, yet again. The scale read 238 first thing this morning and I didn't bother weighing myself a second time. That's only a loss of 2 pounds for the week. Really, it's only a pound since the scale read 239 just 6 days ago. So now comes the blame game. Didn't exercise enough. Ate too much or ate the wrong things. Those are the only factors in weight loss that *I* can control. I can't control what my body decides to do. I have to keep telling myself weight loss is hard ! It is never going to be easy but that doesn't mean I will ever stop trying. Starving myself is not the answer and exercising to the point of exhaustion is also not the answer. Nutrisystem says 1-2 pounds a week and I'm there. I'm at 1-2 pounds a week. I have to trust the process and not give up. A pound is a pound. It took a year to put this weight on, how can I expect to lose it overnight ? If I lose 2 pounds a...